In fitness and massage, we use assessments. A fitness assessment could be as simple as a starting weight and measurements, or as complex as a full medical evaluation. What's important is that it gives you a baseline, that will allow you to accurately set realistic, attainable goals, and track your progress. It is from this point that be can begin to formulate a well-rounded plan for success, including strength training, cardio, nutrition, and rest/recovery.
In life, sometimes it's not as easy ,though. We have to be able to look in the mirror and acknowledge where we truly are, the good and the bad. Things that have happened in the past have brought us to where we are today. We need to recognize those things, but not become slaves to them. They ARE, after all, in the past. Right here and right now, embrace who you are, where you are, what you're doing, and how you got to this point. It is only in doing that, that we can take the next step, and begin to make a plan for our success.
Below, I've linked the two books that I recommended earlier. I challenge you to read them, and discover more about who you are than you ever thought you could know. You'll discover dreams, hopes, strengths, desires, and passions that you never knew you had. It's a very empowering feeling. Enjoy!